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Announcing the Walking Worthy Series! Three new book titles are now available to order on our website: Walking Worthy As a Son of God, Walking Worthy As a Husband, and Walking Worthy As a Father. Each book contains at least eight weeks of lessons and practical exercises for growth in a man's relationship with God and his family. Each lesson has suggestions for personal application as well as direction for small group interaction (discounts are available for group purchases). To read more about the series, preview the first lesson of each book, or to order, visit our website, www.spiritofelijah.com, and click on the Walking Worthy image on the front page. Chariot
February 2008 -
Norm Wakefield The Curse of the
Standard Bearers - Part 4 In this Chariot of Fire:
What is the curse of the standard bearers? The curse is the destruction of relationship with God and others resulting from the deception that love for God and others is measured by adherence to standards on outward issues of life. In some cases, however, the standards are wise. But many, if not most of the standards the Standard Bearers hold, are extreme interpretations of scripture. Some examples might be:
None of the standards above are explicitly stated biblical standards; they are men's interpretations of various scriptures. There are men and women who deeply love Jesus and walk according to the Holy Spirit who don't agree that these are timeless biblical standards. The central point of this series of articles is this: even if they were biblical standards, measuring spiritual life and determining one's circle of fellowship based on appearance and adherence to outward standards isn't God's measurement of spiritual life or maturity. Jesus was at war with those who measured spirituality by appearances and conformity to a set of standards on issues such as the ones above. Pathway to Freedom
The True Image Bearer's primary motivation is to glorify God by expressing the love of
Jesus Christ in all of his or her relationships. A True
Image Bearer, who knows Jesus intimately and has experienced the
freedom of living by the Spirit, has repented of living for the approval
of man and living by religious principles and standards. Having once been
under the bondage of fear that comes from trying to please God, a spouse,
parent, or peer by keeping certain standards, they jealously guard the
lordship of the Holy Spirit. They have learned that following Him is the
ultimate expression of their love both for God and others. Spirit-led
living is the path to freedom. It's true for you, and it's also true for
others. Who is Lord? The Lord Jesus and the Apostle Paul made a distinction between people who identify themselves primarily with religious standards and those who live in relationship with the Lord. Hear Jesus' words. "You search the scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; it is these that testify about Me; and you are unwilling to come to Me so that you may have life" (John 5:39-40). It is possible for someone to be a Bible scholar, have deduced the principles and standards that are pleasing to God, and be adhering to those standards religiously without Spirit-born life. This brings no glory to God. The Standard Bearer wonders what people will think or do or how he can advance his reputation or personal agenda with God and man. In contrast to this, the True Image Bearer's first thought is, "Lord, how can I love in this situation or relationship?" The Apostle Paul communicated the same truth to the Corinthians when he wrote, "Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God, who also made us adequate as servants of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life" (2 Corinthians 3:6). Anyone who has experienced the life of Jesus Christ through the Holy Spirit knows the freedom of which Paul wrote in verses 17-18. "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit is Lord, there is liberty. But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit." Spiritual life and maturity flow from an inward relationship with the Holy Spirit. If there is a primary issue or standard of life, this is it! Who is Lord of your life? The idea communicated by Paul in the third chapter of 2nd Corinthians is that only the ministry of the Holy Spirit in our lives can produce freedom in the individual and glory to God. When I know the Holy Spirit is guiding me, I am free. Of course, His guidance will be through the inerrant Word of God, but He must also guide us in the interpretation and application of it. When love for God and others is the prevailing consideration, then I know the Holy Spirit is guiding me. That's how the Holy Spirit expresses the life of Jesus Christ.
Love for others
then, is to lead them to follow the Holy Spirit so Jesus' life can be
expressed through them. The last thing I want is for others to do
something because I say so or because they think they would gain my
approval. I would rather they express their disagreement with me than
conform just to be accepted by others or me. In fact, their difference
with me gives me an opportunity to show that I love them more than I love
feeling good about myself that they would agree with me. Christ
died and lives to set people free
"It was for
freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not
be subject again to a yoke of slavery" (Galatians 5:1). Although the
context of this refers to the bondage of circumcision, the bigger picture
was the pressure being exerted by some that conformity to the Law was
evidence of true Christian spirituality. If the decisions of your life are
determined by whether or not you are accepted and approved by men, then
you have subjected yourself to a yoke of slavery. You have become enslaved
to the Standard Bearers, to the
one whose praise and acceptance you must have or whose bad opinion and
rejection you fear.
This bondage
takes another form in the lives of the
Standard Bearers. They are also slaves of the ones they seek to
control (they think "bless"). They promote living by standards and
principles to "bless" others with the benefits of such self-control.
However, the evidence of the bondage is that they are more concerned about
people submitting to their standards in life than they are about those
people living under the lordship of the Holy Spirit. They give no room for
the Holy Spirit to lead people in a different way. They don't trust that
the Holy Spirit may be accomplishing a different work or may have a
different purpose for others than for themselves.
When someone
doesn't agree with you, are you free to allow God to work? Do you find
yourself strategizing to get others to act in such a way as to make you
look good? Do you waste hours of time worrying about the non-conformists
instead of trusting God to take care of them and lead them His way in His
time? Please consider this: if someone has the power to make you miserable
or distract you from loving, then you gave them such power by setting them
up as a lord in your life. You've made them an idol. Do feel a need to
express "grief" to others about those who you view to have rejected you?
In reality they may have cut off the relationship because they can't
escape the controlling spirit any other way. Could you have communicated
to them that it is either "your way or the highway"? If so, you're in
bondage and seeking to enslave them also. Is the Holy Spirit Lord in parent and young adult relationships?
Perhaps the area
where the most destruction occurs is between Standard
Bearing parents and Standard
Bearing young adults (I'm thinking of young people ages sixteen and
above). In many cases, young adults reject the standards of their parents
because they feel controlled and are self-ambitious. There's another way
of looking at this: young adults reject their parents because they (the
parents) won't accept their (the young adult) standards! It's just another
form of Standard Bearing. These
young adults are guilty of the same thing for which they condemn their
parents. If you are one of these young adults, let me ask you a question.
Why have you adopted the standards that you have? You'll probably find
that it is to be accepted and significant to someone whose approval you
value more than your parents. You are no different than they are. Have you considered the reason you react to your parents? If indeed they are Standard Bearers, you can tell they have adopted those standards to be accepted by their peers. You have observed that they are more concerned about how they appear to others than to God. You also know that the fear, shame, and rejection that come down on you can't be from God. You know they don't trust God with you, but instead feel responsible to conform you into their image. Have you reacted with the same manipulative tools of fear, shame, and rejection? If you are bitter, hateful, and can't stand them, then you are in bondage to the same curse, the curse of the Standard Bearers. As a young adult, created by God, you are responsible for loving your parents just as they are responsible to love you. That love should be shown as you speak with them, submit to them (if you are still living in the home), and encourage them to walk as the Holy Spirit leads them to walk. If the way they want you to live is different than you wish to live, then recognize that the loving thing to do if you are still at home is to conform to their standards as long as they are providing for you.
If you have established your own home and are providing for
yourself, then you are responsible to follow the Holy Spirit. You should
not condemn them if they are seeking to walk according to the guidance of
the Holy Spirit. Respect them for that commitment. It is the expression of
Jesus Christ in them and to you. Such parents are True
Image Bearers. Your response to them is your response also to Jesus. However,
if your parents have adopted standards based on the fear of man or gaining
the approval of their peers, then realize they are no different than you
if you also seek approval from your peers. To condemn them is to condemn
yourself. The correct response isn't to react to them and determine to
live your life as you wish. Just as they have need to repent and surrender
to the Lordship of the Holy Spirit in their lives, so do you. Don't you
need to ask their forgiveness for judging them, bringing them shame,
hurting their name by your selfishness, expressing bitterness through your
words and actions, and for not loving them with the love of Jesus Christ? The pathway to freedom for you is the same as your parents: Repent of living for yourself and surrender to the Holy Spirit as Lord. Being motivated out of love must become your standard motivation if you are to have confidence before God and truly be free. I encourage you to follow the Holy Spirit's guidance in responding to your parents. Make an appeal to them when they try to control your life and make your decisions for you by thanking them for their desire to help you and bless you. Ask if they would please allow you to pray and seek God's will. Ask them if they would accept you and love you if you chose to do a task differently than they would do it or came to a different application of the Bible. Perhaps asking them to show you in Scripture why they do what they do might be honorable if done with a sincere desire to find God's will.
For young adults
who are still at home, God clearly calls you to submit yourself to your
parents as long as they are not commanding you to do evil and are living
according to God's Word. If they are Standard
Bearers, then God has called you to love and submit yourself to them
in His power, filled with His Spirit. The day will come when you will have
the responsibility for all of your decisions in life before the Lord.
While they are providing for you, God's Word clearly teaches that the way
for you to be free and filled with the Holy Spirit is to submit to your
parents in the Lord (Ephesians 6:1-4). However, if you have the Holy Spirit living in you, and are providing for yourself, and have been granted the responsibility of living away from home, then your allegiance to the Holy Spirit is the priority relationship. If your parents demand that you conform to their standards of living and they cannot show how the action or standard is an expression of love for others and based on clear explicit scriptures, then God may be calling you to take a stand for the truth in love. If they react to your loving and respectful questions about their standards and actions and demand unquestioning obedience, then you are faced with a very difficult decision. To love Christ, you cannot allow them to be lord of your life. If they demand to be lord, then tragically they have made the decision for you: you must avoid the relationship—in love. Share with them that you want to have a good relationship with them. If they will repent of trying to control your life and trust God with you, then you are ready and willing to restore fellowship. But if they cannot trust God with you and allow the Holy Spirit to be Lord in your life, then unfortunately, there's no way for the relationship to be healthy and glorifying to God. If you are a parent and the Holy Spirit lives in you, then you should want your young adults to live by the Spirit, not by your decisions. However, if they are not born again and have not submitted themselves to the Holy Spirit's lordship, then their relationship with God is way more important than their conforming to your standards on certain issues. In love, your responsibility is to lead them to God and clearly explain how your decisions are based on God's Word and your relationship with the Holy Spirit. You should never discourage their questioning your decisions or motives because you should be able to show that they are biblical and motivated out of love for God and others rather than the approval of men. If they cannot submit themselves to God's leading through you, then you need to ask yourself where you have lost their hearts. Has your heart been turned to your reputation and appearance before others more than to them?
I encourage you to not make a big deal of issues if you've
lost the heart of your young adult. Instead, express your concern for
their relationship with God. Ask them if you've done anything to hurt them
or compromised your integrity before them. Remember, when you ask this
question, be determined not to defend yourself. I recommend listening to "Heart
Maintenance" from the Equipping Men
series for suggestions on what to do when you've lost your child's heart.
The last six chapters of my book "Anchored in Christ: The Solid Rock in
the Storms of Life" will also be helpful in guiding you and your young
adult in finding places of repentance which will lead to restoration with
God and with each other. Until you've taken these steps, asking them to
leave the home or rejecting them would be premature and unloving. Whether you are a parent or a young adult, you must be careful to be free from any bitterness and unforgiveness in your own hearts. Keep the door open by repeated, periodic attempts to restore the relationship. Have you experienced forgiveness at the throne of grace through the blood of Jesus Christ? If you have, then just like you've confessed your own sins and received forgiveness through the blood of the Lamb, be consistent and take the sins of your parents and other Standard Bearers to the cross. Continually leave them there to be dealt with by God. You are not responsible to bring justice; you can trust God to do that. You don't have be feel that you are responsible to have their sins exposed (that would be like them, and remember, you condemn such action). Trust God to deal with them as you would want them to trust God to deal with you—with grace and mercy. Repentance leads to restoration Jesus died to set us free from idolatry and bondage. If you wish to be a True Image Bearer, then you should love everyone and encourage them to live by the Holy Spirit's guidance, even those who don't hold the same position on "important" issues. Release control of their lives! Step out of the seat of judgment! If you have demanded that anyone conform to your standards on some or all of the issues listed above and have judged them, gossiped about them, or rejected them; then humble yourself and confess that you have sinned against God and them by making your standards more important than loving them. Ask forgiveness from those you have not loved with the love of Jesus Christ. If you had loved them with the love of Jesus, the only thing you would have been concerned about was their following the Holy Spirit as best they know.
If you find that
you are under the control of Standard
Bearers, then you also need to be liberated. If you feel suspicious or
judgmental around people, then you have been infected with their bondage.
You are not free to love others if you know it will be censored or
condemned by your "lord", the Standard
Bearer whose approval you need. You know this is true, because if this
is the case with you, you are afraid to tell them you disagree with them!
Let's get truthful: are you more concerned about gaining someone's
approval and significance than expressing the love of Jesus Christ to
those who have been slandered and rejected by a Standard
Bearer? Furthermore, are there some issues in which you differ with them, but are afraid of offending them? If they can be offended because you differ with them on external issues, then know that they are Standard Bearers. For instance, if you know your relationship with them would suffer if you were gracious to someone they are clearly snubbing, then unfortunately, you are not free. Or, if the Holy Spirit leads you to avoid having children out of love for your wife, concern for her health, or responsibility to love and train the children God has given you, then make sure you do not subject yourself to fear when a Standard Bearer asks why you're not pregnant. If a Standard Bearer gives you the "once over" look, then that's their problem, not yours. Also, be careful to stay free of judging them. If they feel compelled to live a certain way that varies from your lifestyle and convictions, then trust God is doing a different thing in them. Then you will be free! You're free because the Holy Spirit is Lord instead of them, and you trust the Holy Spirit to be Lord of them also. What a difference humility and love make! It
takes humility to release your expectations and demands of other people,
and it is the love of Jesus that jealously desires that others find their
satisfaction and fullness in Christ rather than in a relationship with you
on the basis of keeping certain standards of behavior. It is the more
mature person who can humble himself, take on the responsibility for his
offenses in a relationship, and ask forgiveness. It is the more
spiritually mature person who sees that loving others for Jesus' sake is
the pathway to freedom and glory to God. Do you need to humble yourself,
ask forgiveness, and purpose to express the love of Jesus? Why not test
the Lord and see what a difference humility and love can make in any
relationship that has been damaged by the curse? If you will humble
yourself before God and receive the people God places in your life as
gifts from God to love as they are, you will experience His love more
deeply. Furthermore, such love will be expressed more fully for the glory
of God. That's freedom! Upcoming Father/Son Weekends - Make Reservations Now! April 11-13 October
3-5 October
30-Nov. 2 Would
you like to be on the Elijah Ministries Prayer Team? The backbone of Elijah Ministries is the prayer team who pray diligently for God to turn the hearts of men to Himself, their wives, and their children. Before I leave to speak, I send out a prayer team invitation to those who will intercede for God to work for His glory in us as a team for the Kingdom. Not only is it a blessing to those whom I speak and myself; but it is also a reminder to the team about the direction of their own hearts. If you would like to enter into the labor together with me, you may go to my website and click on "Prayer Team". The Chariot is now available as a podcast. You can automatically receive the Chariot each month in iTunes by subscribing here. (An RSS capable browser such as Internet Explorer 7 or Safari is required.) Also, if you would like to consider supporting the work and ministry of Elijah Ministries, you can donate online to support the ministry at http://www.spiritofelijah.com/shop.
If you haven't visited our website, www.spiritofelijah.com,
please stop by sometime. You'll find: * Resources to equip you and your family * Previous Chariot articles * Norm's speaking schedule *
Free MP3 downloads * Subscribe to the Chariot Podcast here. * Various pages translated and available in Spanish * An online store to purchase resources and make tax-free contributions by credit card
I invite you to be a part of the
moving of the Spirit of Elijah in your church, community, and the world.
How? 1.
Send this article to other men or families that you know would
benefit from it. You might inform them of the previous articles
available on-line at our website. 2.
Share resources from the Spirit of Elijah Ministries with others.
If Equipping Men or Rising to the
Call have been a blessing to you, then you know it will be
beneficial to others. Either share your resources, tell them about the
resources, or purchase a set or two as an investment in their lives. 3. Share with others what you have learned and put into practice in turning your heart to God, your wife, and your children. If God has done this in you, then He wants to affect others through you. 4.
Join the Elijah Ministries email prayer team and make
intercession for others that their hearts would be turned in revival to
the Lord, their wives, and their children. This can be done on-line at www.spiritofelijah.com.
Norm
Wakefield 02.08 To unsubscribe, click here. Do not change the subject of the email that launches when you click above. Just press send. Or send an email with the subject Unsubscribe Chariot to chariot@spiritofelijah.com.
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