Greetings in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ

Chariot March 2011 - Norm Wakefield

Give the Gift of an Imperishable Relationship

Relationships can be challenging. Thankfully, God hasn't left us in the dark about how believers are to handle difficult relationships. In the apostle Peter's first epistle, he summed up how and why we should behave in difficult relationships. I think Peter was teaching from his own experience with Jesus and following through on what Jesus admonished him to do after he had recovered from his time of sifting. Do you remember the exchange? "Simon, Simon, behold, Satan has demanded permission to sift you like wheat; but I have prayed for you, that your faith may not fail; and you, when once you have turned again, strengthen your brothers" (Luke 22:31-32).

Peter was probably the toughest relationship for Jesus on a day-to-day basis. One moment he was right on with his responses and the next minute, it was as if Satan, himself, was speaking through him. Usually his mistakes and blunders were public. When Jesus spoke of his death, Peter rebuked him (Mat. 16:22). The resurrection was a mystery to him (John 20:9). He slept when he should have been praying in Gethsemene. He took up the sword in the face of an immensely superior force when he should have been sober-minded and still. Instead of standing firm with Christ as he promised, Peter denied Him three times. A short time after the resurrection, even after seeing Jesus alive, Peter returned to fishing - where he was before he met Jesus. Then came the beach experience. Take a moment and read Jesus' third manifestation to Peter after His resurrection.

This is now the third time that Jesus was manifested to the disciples, after He was raised from the dead. So when they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?" He said to Him, "Yes, Lord; You know that I love You." He said to him, "Tend My lambs." He said to him again a second time, "Simon, son of John, do you love Me?" He *said to Him, "Yes, Lord; You know that I love You." He said to him, "Shepherd My sheep." He said to him the third time, "Simon, son of John, do you love Me?" Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, "Do you love Me?" And he said to Him, "Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You." Jesus said to him, "Tend My sheep" (John 21:14-17).

Simon's relationship restored

Certainly Simon Peter didn't miss the name Jesus called him, "Simon." Jesus only called him Simon when he wanted to teach him a lesson or when he was in trouble. Surely Simon Peter's worst fears were materializing when he heard, "Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?" Peter had failed Jesus at His point of greatest need. He had been tested by Satan and failed miserably. He was guilty, and he knew it. Now he was sure Jesus was going to give him what he deserved, but Jesus didn't give Peter what he expected.

Instead, Jesus was sympathetic, brotherly, kind-hearted, and humble in His dealing with Simon Peter. When Jesus called him, Simon, He was communicating to Simon Peter that He was aware of his sin, confusion, and fleshliness. We know Simon Peter understood Jesus' meaning because he replied, "Lord, You know all things." The fact that Jesus asked Simon three times if he loved Him certainly reminded Simon of his three denials. The reminders had to be painful.

Simon Peter was honest, but not flattering when he answered Jesus' questions about his love. In the first query, Jesus used the word agape for unconditional love, and Peter chose to use the word phileo, which implied a special brotherly relationship, in his response. Finally, the third time, Jesus questioned Simon if he loved Him with a phileo love, and Simon Peter got the point: "Jesus, you know me better than I know myself."

Now here's the amazing revelation of Jesus Christ to Peter: Jesus is the Lord, a shepherd. Up to this point in his relationship with Jesus, he knew Jesus to be Lord and Messiah, but his understanding of them was earthly. He had expected Jesus to set up an earthly kingdom because He was Lord and King. Kings generally rule by law and force. Jesus died leaving the Romans and the Pharisees in power, which completely threw Peter. I think Peter left Jerusalem for fishing again because he was disillusioned, discouraged, and confused.

In this beach experience with Jesus, the revelation was life-changing. Jesus said to Simon Peter, in effect, "Simon, I do know you, and I'm not through with you. Although I am Lord and King, as you thought, I am primarily a shepherd who cares for His sheep. You are one of my sheep who has gone astray, and I have laid down my life for you because I am lord of your sin, disillusionment, discouragement, and lord of all of your life. Simon, I am your Lord, your shepherd. Out of your experience with me, I want you to feed and care for my sheep."

I don't know if Peter understood all of what Jesus was saying at that moment. I'm guessing not. Perhaps it didn't register until later on as the Holy Spirit answered questions like: How could Jesus still come to me and use me after what I did to Him? How could Jesus still have a relationship with me when I did such evil? I'm the most unworthy of all the disciples, how could he use me? Have you ever had questions like that come to mind? I have.

The wonderful answers manifested in the encounter on the beach between Peter and Jesus are revealed in Peter's first epistle and form the backbone of the letter of encouragement to the saints.

• God chose me and loved me not because of anything I have done or didn't do (1:2).

• God caused me to be born again the moment Jesus was resurrected. His resurrection life was my new birth (1:3).

• I have received an imperishable, undefiled, unfading relationship with God through Jesus Christ as a gift of inheritance (1:4).

• Revelation means relationship and always brings the grace of obedience (1:13).

• Jesus Christ is my good shepherd who rules with love rather than commands and force (2:25, 5:7).

• The resurrection means Jesus is the lord of all, even the powers of death, sin, Satan, and the powers of darkness (3:22).

From this foundation, Peter summarized his encouragement to the saints about difficult relationships, "To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing" (1 Pet. 3:8-9).

Don't give to others what they give to you

Aren't you glad Jesus hasn't given to you what you gave to Him?! I can imagine the elation and relief Simon Peter felt on the beach that day when Jesus reaffirmed his call to serve in the kingdom as an under-shepherd. "He's not relating to me on the grounds of my performance or lack thereof." When Peter described Jesus' response to those who treated him ill, he wrote,

"For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps...while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed" (1 Pet. 2:21-24.)

Have you ever considered that Peter was thinking of Jesus' response not only to the Pharisees and soldiers, but to him? That day on the beach, Peter was healed from unbelief, discouragement, disillusionment, guilt, and pride–just to name a few. What he learned from Jesus' response to him, he applied to all people. Don't give to others what they give to you.

Give to others what you've been given–an imperishable relationship

How can believers submit to kings as ones in authority (2:13)? Because they are not basing their relationship to the king on the king's policies or actions, but on having received an imperishable relationship through Jesus Christ.

How and why should a servant be submissive to an unreasonable master (2:18)? He gives to his master what he doesn't deserve as he follows Jesus' lead in giving an imperishable relationship based on God's love.

Why should a believing wife submit to a disobedient husband (3:1)? Because she is not giving him what he deserves or returning to him what he has given to her. She's giving him what she's been given–an imperishable, undefiled, unfading relationship based on the death and life of Jesus Christ.

Why should a husband live with his wife in her weakness and treat her as a fellow heir of the grace of life (3:7)? Because he's giving her what he's been given by God through Jesus Christ–a relationship not based on her performance or adherence to his standards of behavior or expectations. He's giving her an imperishable relationship based on how Jesus Christ has treated him.

The sum of all relationships–you've inherited a blessing so you can give a blessing.

In Peter's summary of difficult relationships he adds, "Giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing" (3:9). You might think he was writing, "Giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose of giving a blessing." But that's not what Peter wrote. If we look at 1 Peter 1:3-4 we read this: "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again...to obtain an inheritance which is imperishable, undefiled, and will not fade away..." How blessed God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, must be to relate to us on the grounds of His mercy rather than our performance and give us a relationship that cannot perish or be corrupted or ever fade away. If we relate to others on the grounds of God's mercy rather than their performance, we have also inherited a blessing–the blessing of being a blessing!

God didn't send His Son, Jesus Christ into this world to bear our sins and be raised victorious to sit at the right hand of God for us to relate to others on the grounds of their standard-bearing. True image bearers relate to others on the grounds of mercy, which they have received through Jesus Christ. When they bless their spouses, children, parents, brothers and sisters in Christ, and those who revile and reject them by giving them the gift of an imperishable relationship, they are expressing the true image of God in Christ.

Have you had your "beach experience" with Jesus?

The way you relate to others reveals your perception of your relationship with God. If you feel that your only significance and blessed by God when you do the right thing and don't do the wrong thing, then the foundation of your relationship with God is perishable, defiled, and fadable. You'll find you pass on to others what you think you have received from God. You need a "beach experience" with Jesus where you see that he doesn't base his relationship with you on anything you have done or will do.

If God, according to His great mercy caused you to be born again through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, then your new birth had nothing to do with you. God chose you, set His affection upon you, and caused your new birth the moment Jesus was raised. That's how Peter saw our new birth and encouraged the saints in 1:3. Therefore, you may conclude your relationship with God is imperishable, undefiled, and will not fade away because God chose to not base his relationship with you on you!

Are you parenting like a shepherd?

Without Peter's beach experience, I have no doubt that he would have led his family as well as the early church as a king–with standards and rules administered and enforced by reward and punishment. However, once he saw Jesus' kingship and lordship were not like an earthly king, but like a shepherd, his view of leadership changed. You can tell the impact of the encounter by what he wrote, "Shepherd the flock of God among you, exercising oversight not under compulsion, but voluntarily, according to the will of God; and not for sordid gain, but with eagerness; nor yet as lording it over those allotted to your charge, but proving to be examples to the flock. And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory" (1 Pet. 5:2-4).

Kings lord over their rule with laws and force; shepherds lead by example and with love. Wow! What a difference this should make in parenting. Men should not lord it over wives and children with standards enforced by rewarding conformity and punishment for rebellion. That's not how shepherds deal with sheep. Instead, men should walk with the sheep, guiding them by example, and caring for them. The sheep then follow, not because that's the expected standard of behavior or out of fear of punishment, but out of love because they know the shepherd cares for them.

A young shepherd gave me this firsthand information. She asked, "Did you know that the sheep we bottle-feed will always follow our voices whereas those who weren't require more guidance?" I didn't know that, but it makes sense and the correlation is obvious. Our children are like sheep. If they know we care for them and are walking alongside them, they will attend to our voices and follow because of the power of love.

Blessed are the merciful. Blessed is the person who gives to others, not what they deserve, but gives to them the blessing they have received from God through Jesus Christ - the gift of an imperishable relationship. Such is the relationship of Jesus Christ, the Lord, our shepherd with His sheep. Are you one of His sheep?

Would you like to be on the Elijah Ministries Prayer Team?

The backbone of Elijah Ministries is the prayer team who pray diligently for God to turn the hearts of men to Himself, their wives, and their children. Before I leave to speak, I send out a prayer team invitation to those who will intercede for God to work for His glory in us as a team for the Kingdom. Not only is it a blessing to those whom I speak and myself; but it is also a reminder to the team about the direction of their own hearts. If you would like to enter into the labor together with me, you may go to my website and click on "Prayer Team".

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            Norm Wakefield
            Elijah Ministries
            P.O. Box 377
            Bulverde, Texas 78163
            830.980.5606
            info@spiritofelijah.com
            http://www.spiritofelijah.com

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