Chariot May 2005 - Norm Wakefield

Now available - On Fire for the Gospel: Living Passionately for Christ 9 new challenging sermons from Norm. Click here to read message descriptions.

Identity Principles  

    Why do people do what they do? What makes a teenage son or daughter want to color the ends of his or her hair orange? How is it that professional sports teams can make billions of dollars from selling paraphernalia with their logos on them? Why does a daughter allow a young man to lead her away from her father's values and convictions? On a positive note, why are you driving a certain kind of car? What gives the military such an appeal to some young men and women? Why do we obey God's Word?

    The answer to all of these questions and many more like them is found in understanding four fundamental identity principles. As parents, we need to have a working knowledge of these principles if we're going to navigate our families through the treacherous waters of our post-modern culture. In this series of articles (the remaining articles may be found at www.spiritofelijah.com), I would like to introduce you to these identity principles which are presented in the first message from the Equipping Men Series: Practical Tools for Life's Issues. It is difficult to discuss one principle without invading another because they are so interrelated, but I'll try to keep them distinct. At the end of each article, I'll give some suggestions as to how you can lead your family to learn and apply each principle. Here's the first identity principle.

Identity has to do with the one(s) to whom you belong.

    One may belong to a club, a husband, a wife, a church, a business group, a political party, or to parents, just to name a few. It's all a matter of one's identity. The first one to whom we each belonged was our fathers, which is illustrated in most cultures, of course, in our names. Biblically speaking, sons and daughters specifically belonged to the fathers. No offense or disregard intended here to the mothers. It was God who gave Adam the commandment to be fruitful and multiply before Eve was created. Eve was given to Adam in order that he might fulfill God's plan. Consequently, as you read the Bible, you find genealogies which present records of fathers and sons or daughters, thus illustrating this point. But in general, most of us acknowledge that the children belong to their parents, which is also correct.

    In the Bible we see this identity principle illustrated in numerous verses. For instance, Jesus' identity is entirely described by his relationship with God, His Father. Christians are known as "sons of God" (I John 3:1). Peter declared Jesus' identity as "the son of the living God" and Jesus identified Peter as the son of Jona (literally, Jona is the one who has gone before you, Simon).

    He said to them, "But who do you say that I am?" And Simon Peter answered and said, "Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God." And Jesus answered and said to him, "Blessed are you, Simon Barjona, because flesh and blood did not reveal this to you, but My Father who is in heaven" (Matthew 16:15-17).

    The idea of belonging is illustrated by the apostle Paul in his letter to the Corinthians. In 1 Corinthians 3:23 he wrote, "and you belong to Christ; and Christ belongs to God." In other words, your identity is in Christ and Jesus' identity is in His Father.

    It can also be said that one's children belong to their parents. And perhaps the belonging idea is best illustrated in those children who are adopted. A legal right of ownership must be secured by the adopting parents. Children are given to their parents by God, and their identities are wrapped up in who they are – in the early years. As long as parents give their children reasons for belonging to them or for identifying with them, the children will seek to imitate them and follow their lead. This requires the hearts of the parents be turned to their children. But if parents do not understand this principle and become too occupied with their careers, ministries, recreations, or other responsibilities, the children will look for someone else with whom to identify – someone who will want them and give them good reasons to belong to them.

    God has made His human creatures with a longing to belong. Each of us wants to know that we are wanted, needed, and valued by God and others. From one perspective, we're born spiritually and emotionally empty with a need to be filled. In my opinion, God provided fathers to children to be a forerunner of God's ultimate filling of that need in Himself. We'll learn more about this in the fourth principle.

With whom do I want to identify?

    That's the question that subconsciously drives all our choices. When a child discovers that his parents are too busy and they don't provide hope and purpose for life, then the child usually looks to his peers. For instance, let's imagine a twelve-year-old boy in his Sunday School class. He notices two other boys who get the attention of the girls in his class (as well as the teacher) as they act silly, disrespectful, and flirt. Without thinking why, he reasons if he can only become friends with (belong to or connect with) those two boys, he'll be as popular as they are with the girls. So, he begins to act like them. He notices what kind of music, TV, movies, and recreation they enjoy and wants to become familiar with them so he can "relate" to the boys.

    What is the typical response of parents when they notice a change of behavior in their child and an interest in things of which they do not approve? If they don't know why he's doing it, they may lecture their son about the surface issues (kinds of entertainment and choice of friends) and miss the heart of the issue – he's longing to connect with someone who can offer him significance and hope which his parents haven't offered. It's a matter of identity. With whom does the child want to identify most? His parents? Or the two boys?

    Can you relate to this? Consider your elementary and early teen years. With whom did you wish to identify, and did it not have to do with a sense of acceptance, significance, and belonging? A particular peer group? A boyfriend or girlfriend? A sport or athletic star? A club such as a fraternity or a sorority?

    With whom are you seeking to identity now? How is this having an affect on what you do at work? At home? At church? Here's an idea. What about making this a topic of discussion in your family devotion time? Ask these same questions of each member of the family, and then each one write down a list of all the people or groups to whom or which each wanted to belong.

    The important point to remember is that identity has to do with whom you wish to belong. There's a lot more to understand, and in the following articles we'll build on this first principle. Until then, may the Lord give you and your family a deeper understanding of your own identity.

Prayer Request

    For those of you who know my son Micah, please be in prayer for him and his wife Holly and her family. Holly's oldest sister Shelby, 23 years old, passed away a few days ago from cancer. Although we are all rejoicing that she is free of pain and now with Jesus, she will be terribly missed. Please be in prayer for her family in their loss and for continual grace and peace that comes from the great hope we have in Christ. You can read about Shelby's life by clicking here. 

New Resources for Your Family 

    This month we are continuing a special for those interested in the Equipping Men and Unshakable Faith video series. Also, we now have study guides for leaders and group participants available to download for all of Norm's series as well as the Equipped to Love book. Also, there is a new CD series for everyone, On Fire for the Gospel. The messages are:  

*   What Sets a Man on Fire? 

*   How Does a Man Burn for God?

*   What Has the Gospel Changed, Part 1 and 2

*   The Gospel Applied to Relationships  

*   The Doxology of the Gospel  

*   What Do You Do in Troubled Times?  

*   The Gospel in a Sentence  

*   Thirsting for Jesus  

Would you like to be on the Elijah Ministries Prayer Team?

    The backbone of Elijah Ministries is the prayer team who pray diligently for God to turn the hearts of men to Himself, their wives, and their children. Before I leave to speak, I send out a prayer team invitation to those who will intercede for God to work for His glory in us as a team for the Kingdom. Not only is it a blessing to those whom I speak and myself; but it is also a reminder to the team about the direction of their own hearts. If you would like to enter into the labor together with me, you may go to my website and click on "Prayer Team".

    If you haven't visited our website, www.spiritofelijah.com, please stop by sometime. You'll find:

*   Resources to equip you and your family

*   Previous Chariot articles

*   Norm's speaking schedule

*   Free MP3 downloads  

*   Various pages translated and available in Spanish  

*   An online store to purchase resources and make tax-free contributions by credit card