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50% Off Sale! This Week Only For just this week only, we are having a special introductory 50% sale for the new Raised Up with Christ series on CD and DVD. Normally $30 and $50 respectively, this week the price will be $15 and $25. Buy two for the price of one and give one away to a friend! Click here to purchase. Also, to the first ten people that call to place an order, we'll include a new CD message by Norm entitled "Avoiding the Spirit of Control" (the subject of the next few Chariots), for free! Chariot
July 2008 -
Norm Wakefield The Spirit
of Control - Part
1 They had just finished their scheduled prayer slot from three to four A.M. in the church's prayer chapel, but they could tell God wasn't finished with them. The two men were aware that their hearts were heavy with concern for the spiritual state of their church, so they continued their intercession in the car.
The presence of the Lord was palpable. This was a church that had
experienced God's power and blessing only years before. Some would call it
true revival characterized by deep desire to know and experience God and
to live holy lives. But at the time of their intercession the elders were
struggling desperately to maintain those experiences. A different "spirit"
had descended over the church and its leaders. Spirituality was being
assessed by the degree of submission to the leaders. If anyone questioned
their decisions, they were deemed unspiritual, immature, or at worst,
rebellious. The prayer partners wept over the destruction of relationships
among church leaders, the distrust of leadership manifested in the
membership, and the exodus of people from the fellowship. As they continued to intercede, this thought stayed with them: unless there is repentance of the spirit of control and a turning back to trusting in God's power to control His people, this spirit will destroy the church. Their grief intensified with passion in intercession. It was as if the Lord was letting them in on what He saw taking place, and in mercy was giving a warning of impending destruction and judgment. They asked the Lord and discussed if they were to share with the elders. They felt it was their responsibility to share and leave it with the elders and the Lord. Unfortunately, the majority of the elders did not respond with repentance. Within a year, the repentant elders left the board, if not the church, and for almost twenty years, the church suffered destruction. Since then, pastors have come and gone, and now, almost twenty-eight years later, God is healing the church through a message and ministry of grace.
This true story affected me greatly. It put within me a desire to be
watchful for this destructive spirit of control. I studied the origin and
nature of the spirit of control and its contrast to the spirit of grace
and love. Then in my relationships, I sought to repent and turn to the
Lord to trust Him with those I loved instead of controlling them. I
observed the events in that church and since that time have been sensitive
to and observant to the spirit of control operating in families, churches,
and relationships. It is my prayer that over the next few months the Holy
Spirit will teach, convict, and liberate some of you as He did me. What is the spirit of control? Let me define what I mean when I use the
term spirit. I'm using it the
same way Jesus used it when His disciples asked if they should call down
fire from heaven on the Samaritan village that refused to host them one
evening. In Luke 9:55, Jesus' response is recorded. "But He turned and
rebuked them, and said, ‘You do not know what kind of spirit you are of.'"
I believe Jesus was saying this: You don't know what power is influencing
you. We use this term sometimes when we
describe the effect or influence of someone when they enter into a room or
group of people. We might say, "The entire spirit of the group changed
when he joined the group." The idea in mind is that the person had a
powerful influence on the group. So when I use the term spirit,
I'm describing a powerful influence.
The American Heritage Dictionary
of the English Language defines control this way: to exercise a dominating influence over, to direct, to regulate to
manage. A spirit of control, therefore, is a powerful influence that
compels someone to manage everything and everyone to bring about his/her
desired end, agenda, or happiness. Ultimately the spirit of control is
about power, and it is rooted in self. I told the following story in the Chariot
from November, 2007, but it bears repeating at this point because it
clearly illustrates this definition. Who has the keys? Tim Russert, the late moderator and managing editor of Meet the Press, included a powerful story contributed by Merabeth Lurie in his book, Wisdom of our Fathers. Her seven-year old little brother, Jim, liked to watch and "help" his father as he made such things as chandeliers from old wagon wheels and unusual light fixtures from copper bulbs that float in toilet tanks. While his dad was at work, Jim would use his tools to make his own creations, but wouldn't put them back in their rightful place many times. After telling his son the importance of putting things back, the father decided to build a small tool chest where he could keep his best tools so Jim couldn't get to them. As Jim's dad worked on the chest, Jim watched and helped excitedly. When the lock was being installed, Jim asked, "What's that?" To which his dad replied, "It is a lock, so that in order to get tools from the chest you have to open it with a key." Jim got a strange look on his face, looked up at his father, and asked, "Who will have the key, Dad?" His dad paused for a moment, considered the look on his son's face, and wisely and lovingly said, "There will be just two keys, Jim. One for you, and one for me."
Jim's dad wisely chose to yield his right to control his tools and demote
his standard of order so he could communicate love to his son. The
workshop might be messier, but he had the heart and respect of his son–a
small price to pay for a rewarding relationship with a special person in
his life. Had Jim's dad valued the standard of neatness and orderliness
above showing his son respect by allowing him control of the key to the
chest, he would have "cursed" his relationship with his son.
Unfortunately, not everyone has the wisdom and love that Jim's dad had for
him. Many family members communicate rejection, shame, and judgment by
controlling all the keys of life for those they say they love and want to
bless. They think they know what's best for those for whom they are
responsible (and they might), and with sincerity and good-intentions
demand the right to control all the keys. What is your experience with the spirit of control? As we read this story, we can almost see the spirit of control try to destroy the relationship between Jim and his dad. What feelings did you have as you read about the father's idea to build a toolbox with a lock on it? Were there feelings of disappointment or disgust? Or did you think, "Now that's a great idea!"? Did you feel Jim's dad's dilemma when Jim asked him, "Who will have the key?" What was your response when you read the father's answer? Did you feel like he "caved", or did you think, "Great answer!"?
Can you detect the spirit of control in yourself and in others? It's often
hard to discern when you are the one under it's influence, but easy to
detect when you are the one being controlled. Perhaps as you think back in
your own history, you can get in touch with the dynamics of the spirit of
control. If you grew up with controlling parents, you will not have a hard
time answering this question: To what did your parents allow you to have a
key? If they were controlling, your answer is easy. It rises up inside
you, "I didn't have any keys. I just did whatever they said." If your
parents were permissive, you might reply, "I had the keys to everything. I
could do what I wanted." If your parents were spiritually wise, you might
say, "The Lord has all the keys, and my parents taught me to go to Him."
I've noticed that parents who are under the spirit of control put their
children under the spirit of control. When this happens, instead of
shepherding the heart of the child, the parents are consumed with
controlling the outward actions of the child. The external issues of life
become more important than the internal issue of the child's heart
relationship with God and with them. Consequently, they become standard
bearers instead of true image bearers (this was the topic of the previous
eight Chariots. See www.spiritofelijah.com/chariot).
Children who have suffered under the spirit of control usually fall under
its influence by feeling compelled to find some area of life to which they
hold the key. If the parents will not allow them to hold any keys, they
usually arrest control of the relationship by separation. The devil's
scheme is simple: infect two people with the spirit of control and they
will become frustrated with each other and eventually face a stalemate. As
long as one or either of them is under the spirit of control, neither will
or can concede control to the other, so the only option is disassociation.
This then destroys the relationship and all possibilities of resolution.
Death to the relationship ensues, and hopelessness sets in. Have you
experienced these dynamics in any of your relationships? There's
hope
If you have answered in the affirmative to my last question, I want to
encourage you through this series of articles. There is hope. In
subsequent issues of The Chariot we will learn about the origin, results, and
characteristics of the spirit of control. You can't repent of or get free
from an influence you don't understand or cannot detect. Then we'll follow
up with a look at the way to get free from the controlling spirit and walk
in the grace and love of God in your relationships with others. I
encourage you to begin to discuss this topic during your family times and
make it a matter of discussion with the Holy Spirit. Consider the
questions I asked in the article above and see what you can discover about
the spirit of control and about yourself.
Would
you like to be on the Elijah Ministries Prayer Team? The backbone of Elijah Ministries is the prayer team who pray diligently for God to turn the hearts of men to Himself, their wives, and their children. Before I leave to speak, I send out a prayer team invitation to those who will intercede for God to work for His glory in us as a team for the Kingdom. Not only is it a blessing to those whom I speak and myself; but it is also a reminder to the team about the direction of their own hearts. If you would like to enter into the labor together with me, you may go to my website and click on "Prayer Team". Has Norm's Chariot or other resources been an encouragement to you? As a nonprofit organization, Elijah Ministries needs support from people like you in order to function. If God has ministered to you through Elijah Ministries and Norm Wakefield, would you consider supporting the work? You can do so here. (Elijah Ministries is a tax-deductible 501c3 and is financially accountable to an overseeing board of 8 non-paid members from around the country.) The Chariot is now available as a podcast. You can automatically receive the Chariot each month in iTunes by subscribing here. (An RSS capable browser such as Internet Explorer 7 or Safari is required.)
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please stop by sometime. You'll find: * Resources to equip you and your family * Previous Chariot articles * Norm's speaking schedule *
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I invite you to be a part of the
moving of the Spirit of Elijah in your church, community, and the world.
How?
1.
Send this article to other men or families that you know would
benefit from it. You might inform them of the previous articles
available on-line at our website.
2.
Share resources from the Spirit of Elijah Ministries with others.
If Equipping Men or Rising to the
Call have been a blessing to you, then you know it will be
beneficial to others. Either share your resources, tell them about the
resources, or purchase a set or two as an investment in their lives. 3. Share with others what you have learned and put into practice in turning your heart to God, your wife, and your children. If God has done this in you, then He wants to affect others through you.
4.
Join the Elijah Ministries email prayer team and make
intercession for others that their hearts would be turned in revival to
the Lord, their wives, and their children. This can be done on-line at www.spiritofelijah.com.
Norm
Wakefield 07.08 To unsubscribe, click here.
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