|
||||||||
|
|
Chariot
November 2007 -
Norm Wakefield
The Chariot is now available as a podcast. You can automatically
receive the Chariot each month in iTunes by subscribing here.
(An RSS capable browser such as Internet Explorer 7 or Safari is
required.) Also, if you would like to consider us in your year end giving, you can donate online to support the ministry at
http://www.spiritofelijah.com/shop.
The
Curse of the Standard Bearers: When Idolatry Masquerades as Love The burden in my
heart has compelled me to seek the Lord in how to minister to the growing
number of families who are suffering the devastating effects of what I'll
call The Curse of the Standard Bearers.
This is no infrequent problem. Although I know of hundreds of tragic
accounts, perhaps from heaven's perspective, there are tens of thousands.
There may be dozens of relationships within your own circle of friends,
church, or community which are not what they appear. All seems well on the
surface, but if you could see what God sees, you would see these people need
your love, encouragement, and prayers. Thousands suffer in isolation and
fear from the curse of the Standard Bearers.
Equally, I empathize with the children of these parents, who in their
heart of hearts, long to have a deep, meaningful, loving relationship with
their parents. They want to honor, love, and gain the approval of their
parents perhaps as much as their parents want the best for their children.
Like their parents, there's no righteous way to talk about it to observant
friends without sinning (gossip). Only those who have suffered the same
dynamics in relationships can completely understand the frustration,
bitterness, hurt, and torment.
My prayer is that this series of articles will be used of God to
bring light into the darkness and liberation for the glory of God. May God
bring a spirit of revival as relationships with both God and family members
are reconciled.
In this article I plan to explain what I mean by my title. Then I've
picked two testimonies out of hundreds to illustrate the dynamics to which
many of you can relate or observe (one which I'll share in this article and
another in the next). As I go, I'll try to explain the curse that has
brought about such destruction. We know Satan has his hands in this kind of
tragedy, and we need to know his schemes. Otherwise it continues, and others
will fall into the same trap. In the following articles, we'll see the
destructive attitudes and actions more clearly. Learning how to apply the
gospel to these dynamics will be emancipating. Hopefully we'll discover how
both parents and children may be set free from the curse, be healed and
reconciled, and glorify God. At first, this may be a little painful, but I
encourage those of you who are hurting that there is hope ahead. So let's
begin with some explanations. Who has control of the keys?
Tim Russert, moderator and managing editor of Meet
the Press, included a powerful story contributed by Merabeth Lurie in
his book, Wisdom of our Fathers. Her seven-year old little brother, Jim, liked
to watch and "help" his father as he made such things as
chandeliers from old wagon wheels and unusual light fixtures from copper
bulbs that float in toilet tanks. While his dad was at work, Jim would use
his tools to make his own creations, but wouldn't put them back in their
rightful place many times.
After telling Jim the importance of putting things back, his dad
decided to build a small tool chest where he could keep his best tools so
Jim couldn't get to them. As Jim's dad worked on the chest, Jim watched and
helped excitedly. When the lock was being installed, Jim asked, "What's
that?" To which his dad replied, "It is a lock, so that in order
to get tools from the chest you have to open it with a key."
Jim got a strange look on his face, looked up at his father,
and asked, "Who will have the key, Dad?"
His dad paused for a moment, considered the look on his son's face,
and wisely and lovingly said, "There will be just two keys, Jim. One
for you and one for me." What are you communicating about
relationship?
Jim's dad wisely chose to yield
his right to control his tools and set aside his standard of order to
communicate value and love to his son. The workshop might be messier, but he
had the heart and respect of his son - a small price to pay for a rewarding
relationship with a special person in his life. Had Jim's dad valued the
standard of neatness and orderliness above showing his son respect by
allowing him control of the key to the chest, he would have
"cursed" his relationship with his son.
Unfortunately, not everyone has the wisdom and love that Jim's dad had for
him. Many family members communicate rejection, shame, and judgment by
controlling all the keys of life for those they say they love and want to
bless. They think they know what's best for those for whom they are
responsible (and they might), and with sincerity and good-intentions demand
the right to control all the keys. Without realizing it, in the name of
righteousness and love, they place upon them the
curse of the Standard Bearers.
Standard
Bearers?
Who are the Standard Bearers,
and why such a strange descriptive title? I use the term standard
because sincere, religious people usually have many standards they consider important to secure significance, praise,
and reputation before God and man. Everyone has some standards they
practice, but the issue in this article is the level of importance and
significance people place on those standards.
I use the term bearers because that is the image they bear to others: Living by
certain standards is a true sign of righteousness and spiritual maturity.
Others often think of them as almost perfect or Christ-like in their talk
and appearance being impressed with the way they live for Jesus. But there
is a subtle, yet significant difference between someone living for Jesus and
Jesus living in them. Unfortunately, the emphasis of a Standard Bearer rests on the standards rather than relationship.
Standard Bearers have an
inconsistent application of God's character toward His creatures. For
instance, when trying to convince a non-standard bearer of his need to
change, they communicate that God is very stern. Yet when they deal with
their own sin, they apply the view that God is forgiving and gracious.
There's a disconnect between how they think God sees the sins of others not
like them and how He sees their sin. A True Image Bearer
In contrast, a True Image Bearer focuses on relationship with Jesus and has one
aim: to be a conduit of the life and love of Jesus Christ for the glory of
God and to lead others to experience the same blessing of such a powerful,
love-engulfed, grace-filled relationship. Although his life is lived with
standards perhaps similar to a Standard
Bearer's, the root and motivation of his life is different - he
recognizes his lifestyle as a gift of grace through his relationship with
Jesus. The true image of Jesus
wasn't a life focused on standards, but a life focused on a relationship
with His Father in heaven.
Consequently, a True Image Bearer doesn't demand that others live by standards to
gain approval, encouragement, and affirmation. They're more interested in
the process of relationship with the Holy Spirit for others. People who live
in close company with a True Image
Bearer know that if they were to disappoint them or have another view,
they would still be respected and valued.
True Image Bearers
respect the Holy
Spirit and His right to move, transform, and convince others. They apply the
power of the cross-work of Jesus to those who haven't seen the light they
have and consider the judgment of others a holy responsibility for Jesus
alone. They don't think the Christian life is "living for Jesus",
but instead it is "Jesus living in them" (Gal. 2:20). When people
are around a True Image Bearer, they
usually sense the love and presence of Jesus.
Often Standard Bearers
think they are True Image Bearers
because they have good feelings about themselves due to their commitment to
standards. To them commitment to standards is the expression of their love
for Jesus. However, they are not unlike the Pharisees in Jesus' day who
viewed themselves as the "separated ones." In their zeal to be
distinct in a complex, godless Greek culture, they established oral
traditions (standards) and considered them not only equal to the written
Law, but more important. Their judgment of others and lack of love,
forgiveness, and grace was condemned by Jesus repeatedly. A True
Image Bearer would not look down his nose at, avoid, or judge those who
don't hold to his or her standards. Instead, he lives in freedom and prays
for and encourages others to treasure relationship with Jesus. The curse of the Standard Bearers
Let me introduce you to Marty, an individual whose life illustrates
the curse of the Standard Bearers.
Almost overnight, Marty's life changed. His parents decided to become
associated with other homeschooling families whose goal was to raise
children with godly character. With the new direction for the family came more
responsibilities and expectations
from his parents. He already felt smothered by their efforts to make him
into the type of young person who would give them a good reputation among
their peers, but with the change came a tidal wave of standards and goals he
felt were impossible to meet.
Marty didn't make it easy for them. In fact, he questioned them
constantly as to why they had to live by all these standards of dress,
social etiquette, grooming, facial expressions, entertainment, courtship,
attitudes, education, and food. His honest questions brought accusations of
rebellion and disrespect, which were not his intentions. Eventually, the
conflict became so great that in order to protect their reputation, Marty's
parents sent him to live and work with an uncle, hoping God would eventually
open his eyes to see the blessing he was rejecting.
Marty's well-meaning parents were Standard
Bearers. Without realizing it, self-ambition (lust for significance and
success) and an idolatrous love of man's approval gained ascendancy within their hearts. The curse of the Standard
Bearers rested upon them and all the relationships for which they felt
responsible. Unwittingly, they looked to standard
bearing as the solution to parenting Marty and to gaining significance
and acceptance for the whole family. Instead of demonstrating a life lived
in a relationship with Jesus Christ through the Holy Spirit and leading
Marty to do the same, they were caught in the enticing trap of a form of
religion. They quickly learned what standards were acceptable and not
acceptable among those with whom they wished to connect and then commanded
obedience from Marty.
At age fifteen and living at home, Marty knew he should obey his
parents, but they never led him to deal with his heart relationship with
God. Consequently, the parent-child relationship was always about
responsibility and expectations. It's no wonder that Marty felt unloved,
controlled, and unvalued. Living by rules and standards cannot build
relationships based on God's love and grace. A form of outward obedience may
occur, but liberty and love that comes from the Holy Spirit's work
internally is overlooked. Until Marty has a relationship with Jesus, his parents must teach, train, and demand honor and obedience (Eph. 6:1-4). However, once the Holy Spirit indwells him, Marty should be taught to walk by the Spirit in relationship with the heavenly Father. As Jesus told his disciples, "Do not call anyone on earth your father; for One is your Father, He who is in heaven" (Matt. 23:9). As a son starts to walk by the Spirit, an earthly father should encourage his son's decision-making and guidance to come from a personal relationship with the heavenly Father, not himself. To the degree that the father makes the decisions and dictates the lifestyle of his believing son, to that degree he hinders his son's spiritual life. A father's role should decrease just as John the Baptist's role decreased when Jesus appeared (John 3:30). Doesn’t
this break your heart? Would
you like to be on the Elijah Ministries Prayer Team?
The backbone of Elijah Ministries is the prayer team who
pray diligently for God to turn the hearts of men to Himself, their
wives, and their children. Before I leave to speak, I send out a prayer
team invitation to those who will intercede for God to work for His
glory in us as a team for the Kingdom. Not only is it a blessing to
those whom I speak and myself; but it is also a reminder to the team
about the direction of their own hearts. If you would like to enter into
the labor together with me, you may go to my website and click on "Prayer
Team".
If you haven't visited our website, www.spiritofelijah.com,
please stop by sometime. You'll find: * Resources to equip you and your family * Previous Chariot articles * Norm's speaking schedule *
Free MP3 downloads * Various pages translated and available in Spanish * An online store to purchase resources and make tax-free contributions by credit card
The article above is a part of the Equipping Men series. The series is available on both audio cassette, CD, VHS and DVD. This and other resources, including all past issues of the Chariot, are available at http://www.spiritofelijah.com.
I invite you to be a part of the
moving of the Spirit of Elijah in your church, community, and the world.
How?
1.
Send this article to other men or families that you know would
benefit from it. You might inform them of the previous articles
available on-line at our website.
2.
Share resources from the Spirit of Elijah Ministries with others.
If Equipping Men or Rising to the
Call have been a blessing to you, then you know it will be
beneficial to others. Either share your resources, tell them about the
resources, or purchase a set or two as an investment in their lives. 3. Share with others what you have learned and put into practice in turning your heart to God, your wife, and your children. If God has done this in you, then He wants to affect others through you.
4.
Join the Elijah Ministries email prayer team and make
intercession for others that their hearts would be turned in revival to
the Lord, their wives, and their children. This can be done on-line at www.spiritofelijah.com.
Norm
Wakefield 11.07
To unsubscribe, click here.
Do not change the subject of the email that launches when you click
above. Just press send. Or send an email with the subject Unsubscribe
Chariot to chariot@spiritofelijah.com.
|
|||||||
|
||||||||
