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November 2009 -
Norm Wakefield
Tearing Down Walls, Part 2
Are there any
relationships where you have closed and locked the door to protect
yourself and deny access? That's what happened between the Apostle Paul
and some of the members of the Corinthian church. Someone had suggested
that they close the door on the great apostle because he wanted Paul's
position of significance. Perhaps he also wanted the gift Paul wanted them
to send to the Jews in Jerusalem as a show of unity and love. For whatever
reason, Paul found the door closed and locked in their relationship. In 2
Corinthians, Paul knocked on the door and asked them to open up and let he
and his ministry companions back in.
Our
mouth has spoken freely to you, O Corinthians, our heart is opened wide.
You are not restrained by us, but you are restrained in your own
affections. Now in a like exchange—I speak as to children—open wide to
us also (2 Corinthians 6:11-13).
Last
month we began a series of Chariot articles discussing Satan's weapons
used by Paul's critic in Corinth. I asked you to check your own
relationships to see if you had any of these weapons in your relational
arsenal. Satan's
Weapons •
Wrong thoughts. •
The "I want"
syndrome. •
The flesh
weaknesses and sins of others. •
Your own
strengths. •
Disguise.
We
all at some time or another have used Satan's weapons of warfare in our
relationships. Here's the battle line for us: Not building walls between
others and us and tearing down any walls that have been built. Paul wrote
to say to the Corinthians that from his side, the door was wide open.
However, there were some in Corinth who were warring according to the
flesh and were building walls between them. What did he mean? How does a
person fight with Satan's weapons? You
fight according to the flesh
When
Paul wrote, "For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to
the flesh," he was contrasting the way his critics fought with the way he
fought. When someone fights with Satan's weapons of wrong thoughts, the "I
want" syndrome, and the flesh weaknesses of others, he fights from a
selfish perspective. The flesh, human nature under the power of sin, is
always selfish. Walls are erected between people when anyone makes the
relationship about self, namely making personal happiness and comfort the
supreme value.
To
live for self is to be antichrist. It's putting yourself in the place of
Jesus Christ, the place of supremacy. If Satan can get us to think more
about our own interests than that of others, he's got us into his
wall-building scheme. Ultimately that's what the flesh is all about: self,
self-protection, self-ambition, self-destruction, and self-deceit. When I
fight according to the flesh, I make relationships "all about me."
Do
you fight this way? Have you made your relationship with God, your wife,
husband, child, parent, or work associate all about you – what you want,
what you like or don't like? Do you struggle with people who don't think
the way you do, act like you want them to act, or whom their Creator has
wired differently than you? If so, then you are fighting with Satan's
weapons and are fighting according to the flesh. You're not tearing down
walls, you're building them. In contrast, Paul wrote to the Corinthians in
his first letter about love, "Love...does not seek its own" (1 Corinthians
13:5a). Blame
others for their weaknesses
When
the mind is set on the flesh or self, the battle within is lost. You'll
pick out the weaknesses of the flesh in others, focus on the offenses
caused by those weaknesses and use them as weapons of blame and shame.
That's Satan's warfare. In the case of the divisive person in Corinth, his
thoughts were consumed with being the significant minister to the church
rather than Paul. His "I want" was Paul's position of authority. In order
to achieve his goal, he schemed to discredit the Apostle Paul by
highlighting Paul's flesh weaknesses such as the tone of his letters, his
personal appearance, and his contemptible speech (2 Corinthians 10:10).
That's exactly how Satan gets people to fight in relationships – fight
for themselves and tear down their opponents! This is fighting according
to the flesh. Instead of tearing down walls, Satan's warriors build walls
by tearing down people and focusing on outward issues, which they use as
weapons against others.
Remember
Satan's primary weapon is wrong thoughts. He uses the undisciplined,
self-oriented mind. It is destructive and wrong to allow your mind to
notice and constantly remember another person's weaknesses or offenses.
When you let your mind dwell on these things about another person, it
doesn't take long before the heart closes and the affections become
restrained because you have concluded that you don't like them. Then it
follows that you avoid them because you think the relationship isn't safe.
What is the result? You've built a wall by fighting against that person
instead of fighting against wall-building for Christ's sake.
How
much is blame a part of your relationship with the person on the other
side of a wall? Do you have a mental or emotional list of flesh weaknesses
that bug you about another person and you've let hinder your openness to
them? If you have allowed your mind to go down this path, then you've
already lost the inner battle. As soon as a skirmish begins with that
person, you'll find yourself on top of your wall shooting down at them
with your arrows of criticism, blame, and shame. Satan has you where he
wants you: thinking you are above them, better than them, victimized by
them, obviously wiser, and have the clearer view of things. You are
fighting with Satan's weapons. Your thinking is wrong, and you're
destroying yourself as well as your relationship with God and them. Right
thinking according to Paul is this: "Love...is not provoked, does not take
into account a wrong suffered" (1 Corinthians 13:5). Boasts
in strengths
Satan
often lures us into using his weapons when we focus on our own strengths
while criticizing the weaknesses of others. When we think we see clearly
another's weaknesses, it's easy to overlook similar weaknesses and
offenses in our own lives. Perhaps that's why in the Sermon on the Mount,
Jesus cautioned against judging others by first judging ourselves. "You
hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see
clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye" (Matthew 7:5).
Furthermore, the flesh rarely acknowledges that abilities and strengths
come as gifts from God. Fleshly people tend to boast in those things that
come easy for them and criticize others who don't have the same abilities,
insight, or gifting. Such people easily justify their criticism, hurt
feelings, and wall-building. In fact, it's easy to use the weapon of
disguise by covering our weaknesses. Publicly they do everything they can
to maintain a good reputation, but in private, they criticize, slander,
and attack people who don't go along with their plan or meet up to their
standards.
Paul's
critic in Corinth boasted in his strengths while criticizing Paul's
weaknesses. That's why Paul wrote, "But he who boasts [namely Paul's
critic] is to boast in the Lord. For it is not he who commends himself
that is approved, but he whom the Lord commends" (2 Corinthians 10:17-18).
This man thought that he was more able and worthy of significant
leadership than Paul because of his strengths. The man who thinks, "God
can use someone like me in his work. In fact, I'm more gifted than ..."
will eventually become a destructive force in the church, just like the
man in Corinth.
This
attitude can snake its way into our lives – a wife toward her husband, a
husband toward his wife, or even a teenager toward his or her parents.
Once such pride is allowed, even justified in one's thinking, Satan has an
ally through whom he can destroy marriage, family, and church. That's how
the flesh is. It will commend self while tearing down others. The Apostle
Paul's thinking corrals those proud thoughts and puts them where they
belong – in prison! The question isn't who has the greatest strengths.
The issue is who the Lord commends or approves. Scriptures teach that the
Lord opposes the proud (James 4:6). So we can be sure that the Lord
opposes the person who focuses on his own happiness, boasting in his own
strengths as if he were the generator of them.
Have
you noticed that when you put yourself above another or highlight your
strengths that walls are being built in your heart between you and others?
Do you look down on your husband, wife, parents, children, or in-laws
because they don't meet up to your standards of behavior, insight, or
abilities? If you have done so, then you are fighting according to the
flesh and are armed with one of Satan's most potent weapons for destroying
relationship with God and others, namely, the weapon of pride in your
strengths. If boasting in one's strengths is a weapon in your hand, then
usually there's another weapon in the other hand. Comparison
When
someone thinks they are better, more important, more knowledgeable, more
righteous than someone, then they have taken up another of Satan's weapons
for fighting according to the flesh – comparison. Comparison is always
wrong and will always build walls. Paul's critics did just that. Paul
wrote, "For we are not bold to class or compare ourselves with some of
those who commend themselves; but when they measure themselves by
themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are without
understanding" (2 Corinthians 10:12).
When
we compare ourselves with others we either compare favorably, and it
encourages pride; or we fail miserably and become discouraged, hurt,
disappointed, or jealous. Satan traps the fleshly person who looks at
things outwardly by pointing out how well he or she performs on specific
outward standards. Without realizing it, the person has measured himself
by himself. It's a very small step then to compare himself with others who
aren't as gifted or who struggle in areas in which he excels.
The
wife who compares her husband unfavorably to her friend's husband is
building walls in her heart toward her husband. The husband who criticizes
his wife because she talks more than his friend's wife is using Satan's
weapon of comparison to destroy his relationship with his wife. Have you
picked up the devil's weapon of comparison? Use
others for selfish gain
When
someone sets their mind on self-comfort or happiness, the "I want"
syndrome, Satan has a weapon which will destroy both the person wielding
the weapon and those around them. When self is god and the first
consideration, then others become objects to be controlled and used for
personal gain. That's how Paul's critic was in Corinth. Paul wrote, "For
you tolerate it if anyone enslaves you, anyone devours you, anyone takes
advantage of you, anyone exalts himself, anyone hits you in the face" (2
Corinthians 11:20).
The
trouble-maker in Corinth wanted Paul's position of authority and
significance. Therefore he was consuming the church, enslaving them for
his own agenda, taking advantage of their good hearts and exalting himself
for his own ends. He didn't actually hit them in the face, but shamed them
when they didn't give him the significance or honor he desired.
Do
you think your wife thinks that you won't like her unless she gives you
what you want? Have you enslaved her to your comfort and happiness? Are
you devouring your husband by your demanding and constant expectation to
be thought of first? Teenager, when was the last time you asked your
parents, "Would it be an inconvenience to you if I ...? When you don't get
your way or are insulted, do you emotionally "slap the offender in the
face" by pouting, ignoring them, or yelling at them? If so, surely you can
see you are building walls and fighting with Satan's weapons. Attacks
the person
By
now, you can probably see that when you fight according to the flesh, the
use of one of Satan's weapons leads to another weapon. When someone fights
according to the flesh they become a "thorn in the flesh" of everyone they
use. I think that's who Paul had in mind when he wrote, "Because of the
surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from
exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of
Satan to torment me – to keep me from exalting myself" (2 Corinthians
12:7).
When
we fight with Satan's weapons, we can't help but attack the person who we
think is a threat to our agenda, significance, or happiness. We hurt them
– stick them repeatedly like an imbedded thorn irritates and torments.
Some commentators believe Paul was speaking of a physical malady such as
poor eyesight, but that doesn't fit the context of 2 Corinthians 10-13. He
wrote in verse 10, "Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with
insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties for Christ's
sake." These are not the result of a physical malady, but are a summary of
what his critic had said and done which he already mentioned in chapters
10-11. If it were a physical malady, I don't think he would have said, "for
Christ's sake." Because Paul has boasted only in the cross and has
determined to preach nothing but Christ crucified, he has been judged,
slandered, and alienated.
Satan
wants to make you a "thorn in the flesh", someone who wars according to
the flesh and causes walls of protection and division to be built. He
wants you attacking people and not attacking the walls of division and
destruction. Have you been a thorn in your husband's, wife's, parents',
child's, or brother's life? Under
whose banner are you fighting?
Do you recognize any of these dynamics in your relationships? •
Blames others for
their weaknesses •
Boasts in
strengths •
Comparison •
Uses others for
selfish gain •
Attacks the person
Instead
of fighting against people, the love of Christ fights against the walls.
Under whose banner are you fighting? Next month, we'll look into God's
weapons, which are powerful for the destruction of fortresses we have
built in our hearts toward people. Here are some suggestions for how you
can apply this article to your family relationships. 1.
Discuss how easy
it is to blame and shame others into doing what you want them to do?
Discuss these dynamics in your relationships. 2.
How can a strength
become Satan's weapon? Name some examples. 3.
What happens when
parents compare their children? What happens in the parents? What happens
in the children? 4.
Read 2 Corinthians
11:20 and discuss if any of these dynamics are present in your family
relationships. 5.
What is the
difference between attacking people and attacking the walls between you
and those people? Lead your family to repent of using Satan's weapons and for fighting according to the flesh. Have each person make a list of the people with whom they have been fighting according to the flesh. Then determine to go to them and ask forgiveness. Would
you like to be on the Elijah Ministries Prayer Team? The backbone of Elijah Ministries is the prayer team who pray diligently for God to turn the hearts of men to Himself, their wives, and their children. Before I leave to speak, I send out a prayer team invitation to those who will intercede for God to work for His glory in us as a team for the Kingdom. Not only is it a blessing to those whom I speak and myself; but it is also a reminder to the team about the direction of their own hearts. If you would like to enter into the labor together with me, you may go to my website and click on "Prayer Team". Has Norm's Chariot or other resources been an encouragement to you? As a nonprofit organization, Elijah Ministries needs support from people like you in order to function. If God has ministered to you through Elijah Ministries and Norm Wakefield, would you consider supporting the work? You can do so here. (Elijah Ministries is a tax-deductible 501c3 and is financially accountable to an overseeing board of 8 non-paid members from around the country.) The Chariot is also available as a podcast. You can automatically receive the Chariot each month in iTunes by subscribing here. (An RSS capable browser such as Internet Explorer 7 or Safari is required.)
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haven't visited our website, www.spiritofelijah.com,
please stop by sometime. You'll find: * Resources to equip you and your family * Previous Chariot articles * Norm's speaking schedule *
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I invite you to be a part of the
moving of the Spirit of Elijah in your church, community, and the world.
How?
1.
Send this article to other men or families that you know would
benefit from it. You might inform them of the previous articles
available on-line at our website.
2.
Share resources from the Spirit of Elijah Ministries with others.
If Equipping Men or Rising to the
Call have been a blessing to you, then you know it will be
beneficial to others. Either share your resources, tell them about the
resources, or purchase a set or two as an investment in their lives. 3. Share with others what you have learned and put into practice in turning your heart to God, your wife, and your children. If God has done this in you, then He wants to affect others through you.
4.
Join the Elijah Ministries email prayer team and make
intercession for others that their hearts would be turned in revival to
the Lord, their wives, and their children. This can be done on-line at www.spiritofelijah.com.
Norm
Wakefield 11.09 To unsubscribe, click here.
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