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Chariot December 2007 -
Norm Wakefield The Curse of the Standard Bearers - Part 2
In the last Chariot, I
introduced the difference between A
Standard Bearer and a True Image
Bearer. The Standard Bearer has
unwittingly come to think that holding to certain standards of outward
performance and appearance is more important than the inward reality of a
loving, Spirit-filled and guided relationship with Jesus Christ. The Standard
Bearer feels content to learn the standards to be acceptable to God
and others and then do them as a means of living for Jesus. The True
Image Bearer, however, doesn't view life as trying to imitate or copy
the life of Jesus and live for Him, but seeks daily to find His life
hidden in Christ and to experience Jesus living His life through them.
Although he may have high standards, his identity isn't wrapped up in
those standards. Furthermore, he doesn't avoid or judge those who don't
hold to his standards.
You can generally discern
identities that primarily consist of adherence to outward standards by the
pressure you might feel to conform to their lifestyle in order to be
accepted or included in their fellowship or circle of friends. When a Standard
Bearer judges, rejects, and gossips about others who don't hold their
standards, they are in effect showing that they live under a curse and
also are cursing instead of blessing others. In the last article, I
introduced you to Marty, a teenager, who lived under the curse of his
parents who were Standard Bearers. But the curse doesn't only affect young adults in
the home. It may also have an affect on generations of marriages and
family relationships. The curse may also destroy marriages
Have you ever considered
the most important marriage in human history, the marriage of Joseph and
Mary, the mother of Jesus? What if Joseph had been a Standard
Bearer? What if he had been more concerned about what others thought
of him and what standards were acceptable in his religious community?
Although this is a
hypothetical situation, it isn't difficult to imagine the outcome had
Joseph felt compelled to live by the righteous standards of his religion
and peers - Mary and her unborn son would have died at the hands of a
stone-throwing crowd. Everyone would have walked away feeling quite
"righteous", having "protected" their community.
Fortunately, despite his
sin nature, Joseph was a righteous, loving, and spiritually mature man by
the grace of God. Matthew records this about him. "And Joseph her
husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, planned to
send her away secretly" (Matt. 1:19). The love of the Father
protected His Son through Joseph even before He was born. A Standard
Bearer would have put her away with
shame and felt justified and even compelled to do so. Marriage
destroyed. The Son of God murdered. John and Megan
John grew up in the home
of Standard Bearers. Being a compliant child, he became a poster child
for them and a testimony of the blessing that comes with living by godly
standards and character. John wasn't taught the importance of a
relationship with the Holy Spirit or experiencing a personal relationship
with Jesus Christ. He was taught that obeying his parents was his primary
responsibility as a son. To his parents, living for Jesus and obeying
parents were one in the same. I'm not sure they realized it, but they
became his god and controlled his life. John didn't know who he was as a
person or that he was under the inordinate control of Standard
Bearing parents. Furthermore, he didn't realize his need for the Holy
Spirit; he had his father and mother!
Eventually, John met Megan
and they were married. After their marriage, John's parents continued to
control his life by demanding that the new couple continue living by their
standards. John dutifully received and obeyed all of his father's
"counsel" because it was the safest way to avoid conflict with
him and maintain his father's approval. However, he found himself in a
terrible conflict: To maintain the approval, support, and acceptance of
his father, he would have to obey his wishes without question at the risk
of rejecting Megan.
As John and Megan began to
determine how they were going to live, John discovered that most of his
decisions were being determined by whether they gained the approval of his
parents and their peers, not because of a loving fellowship with Jesus or
love for Megan. When John began to make decisions contrary to his parents'
wishes, they concluded that Megan surely was the cause. Their perception
was that before he married Megan, John was compliant and exemplary. There
were no apparent problems in their relationship. But since marrying Megan,
he began dishonoring them by questioning their standards and was becoming
an embarrassment to them among their peers.
I don't know if John's
parents realized what they were doing. John's parents privately scolded
and shamed him for not getting his wife in line. They accused her of being
rebellious, immodest, disrespectful, selfish, and controlling, and she
probably was guilty of some of these behaviors. However, this condemnation
drove a deep wedge in John and Megan's relationship. As Megan saw her
husband see-saw back and forth between his parents and her, she lived
under the constant fear that he would not stand up for her and protect her
against the rejection, harassment, and pressure of his parents.
Unfortunately, her fears
were well-founded. He didn't. From her perspective, John's parents'
highest value in life was keeping their good reputation. They were driving
a wedge between her and her husband. He was being forced to choose between
his parents and her.
John was too weak, and
generally caved to the pressure of his parents. As John experienced the
disapproval, rejection, and shame from his parents, he transferred them to
Megan. Eventually, the young couple became the "people of whom we
don't speak" as far as his parents were concerned. They were left out
of family get-togethers, other family members were forbidden to have
communication with them, and they were accused of being rebellious and
dishonoring.
Over a period of years,
the curse bore its fruit. Megan couldn't take the rejection of John, his
parents, and the rest of the Standard
Bearers. John continued to choose the approval of his parents over
loving Megan. Tragically, she left and divorced John. His parents actually
encouraged the divorce, citing that he was "unequally yoked" to
Megan because she didn't hold to the same standards of dress, grooming,
social etiquette, etc. From Megan's viewpoint, to do so would simply be
for the approval of John's parents and their reputation among the rest of
the Standard Bearers.
The Scriptures clearly teach that the father and mother of a
married son have no jurisdiction over their son and daughter-in-law or a
married daughter and son-in-law. Three times in the New Testament, a son
leaving his father and cleaving to his wife is affirmed (Matt. 19:5, Mark
10:7, and Eph. 5:31). Additionally, lest someone think that leaving only
entails leaving the house, the Apostle Paul emphatically states that a man
is the head of his wife, not the man's father (1 Cor. 11:3). Obviously,
John's parents had a distorted view. A married son does not owe obedience
to his father and mother as a show of honor and respect. Rather, the
parents owe their son honor by recognizing his headship role of his wife
and family and by encouraging him to seek God's will with her (cleaving)
for their new family. Once a believing son marries, the father's authority
over his son ceases. Christ becomes the head of that man with no one in
between.
The sad thing is that
John's parents felt justified in their control, and in fact thought they
were loving John and Megan by applying pressure to conform. Additionally,
the rest of the Standard Bearers who noticed the growing gulf in the relationship,
could only conclude John and Megan were at fault. Ultimately, the entire
blame for the divorce and destruction fell upon Megan. I don't believe
that's what God saw. Sadly, these parents thought they loved their
children and desired only to bless them. But what God sees and what these
children experience is just the opposite - it's idolatry masquerading as
love. They lived under the curse of
the Standard Bearers. Standard bearing had become a means of gratifying
self-ambition rather than a means of expressing grace motivated by
love for Jesus. Satan's management scheme
Is there a scheme that
motivates, justifies, and deceives the Standard
Bearers to cause such destruction in the name of righteousness? Yes.
Satan has schemes by which he destroys relationships and families by the
hundreds and perhaps thousands. A primary scheme is to get people to think
that God is pleased when they make choices out of a "free will."
This paradigm provides the basis for people receiving praise from
themselves and others when they make right choices and also the basis for
judgment and condemnation of others. Upon that cornerstone of "free
will" the devil places another deception: Convince people that they
please God most when they gain the approval of men. Upon these "sand
bags", outward appearance and forms of religion substitute for a
supernatural, flesh-condemning, life-transforming, spiritual encounter
with the living God.
I'm using the term scheme
the same way the Apostle Paul used it when he wrote to the Ephesians,
"Finally be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put
on the full armor of God that you may be able to stand firm against the
schemes of the devil" (6:10-11). It comes from a word meaning to
employ craftiness in order to achieve a desired outcome - a management
system. Standard Bearers use standards and expectations to empower themselves
and manage the people they need in order to maintain their reputation
among the other Standard Bearers.
French mathematician,
physicist, and theologian Blaise Pascal wrote, "Men never do evil so
completely and cheerfully as when they do it from a religious
conviction." The crucifixion of the innocent Son of God first comes
to mind when I read that quote. My observation is that Satan's schemes
stand on a wrong application of a truth. In the case of the modern-day Standard
Bearers, Proverbs 22:1 may be misused and applied. "A good name
is to be more desired than great wealth, favor is better than silver and
gold." Standard Bearers may
unknowingly be motivated to obtain a good reputation among men at any
expense - even at the loss of family relationships. Wouldn't it be better
for everyone concerned to crucify their own ambitions and demands? Dying
for others, however, is not something Satan will advance. Jesus exposed
the heart of Satan's scheme when he rebuked Peter for trying to discourage
him from going to the cross. "Get behind Me, Satan! You are a
stumbling block to Me; for you are not setting your mind on God's
interests, but man's" (Matt. 16:23). The motivation of those who have
fallen for this scheme is obvious: appearance for approval sake trumps
everything! Can someone be right but wrong?
William Young, author of The Shack, described a man's encounter with God. It caught my
attention, and I think it relates to Satan's scheme. He wrote that there are a lot of smart people who are able to say
a lot of right things from their brain because they have been told what
the right answers are, but they don't know Jesus Christ at all. So really,
how can their answers be right even if they are correct? Even though they
might be correct, they are still wrong.
I think this is
insightful. I wouldn't go so far as to say that all Standard
Bearers don't know Jesus Christ, but I would say that they might not
understand Satan's scheme or know intimately the love of God in Jesus
Christ. Furthermore, they must be supernaturally oblivious to the
destruction they cause. Once a person thinks a good name is the ultimate
blessing of God, he will justify everything he does and will exercise
whatever power he has to control events and people. His causes may be
right, commendable, and worthy of emulation, but his methods may be wrong
in God's eyes. If methods do not spring from the fountain of the life and
love of Jesus Christ within, then they are not only wrong, they are evil. The evil methods knowingly perpetrated by the Standard Bearers include using rejection, shame, accusation, gossip, and acceptance as tools to manipulate those they say they love. That's what idolaters do with their idols. The idolatry is exposed when Marty disappoints his parents or when John and Megan don't get with his parents' agenda and put on the appearance that everything is wonderful in their family. Thus issues become more important than relationships for Standard Bearers. Standard Bearers control public
perception
How do Standard Bearers
explain the gulf between them and their children and maintain control of
their reputation? The scheme established by Satan prevents public honesty.
The Standard Bearing parents or
spouses certainly aren't going to admit the problem. To do so would
jeopardize their reputation and significance.
If the person is a leader in their community, homeschool group, or
church, to be honest would bring down the entire structure upon which Standard Bearers find their significance and security. What do these people say when others notice the breach in relationship? You may observe that they usually hide behind a facade of spirituality and religious reasoning supported by scriptural commands. Their friends might hear something like this when they ask about the ones of whom they obviously don't speak or with whom they don't associate: "We're so grieved about our children (wife, husband, in-laws) right now. We're just trusting God to work in them. Won't you please pray that God will open their eyes to see the light and turn their hearts back to us? We've done everything we know to love them and bless them." And the curse advances through the ranks of the Standard Bearers. From that moment, all their peers are defiled toward their children. The children seem helplessly
trapped
What do cursed victims of
a Standard Bearer do? If they were to scream out the truth (this
is how these people feel) about the control and unloving attitudes and
actions of the parents, in-laws, husbands, or wives, few in the community
of Standard Bearers would
believe them. Furthermore, it wouldn't be right for them to defile others
regarding the Standard Bearers.
So, although they are being slandered and gossiped about, the victims are
bound by their consciences (if they truly love) to cover the growing
multitude of sins. Many then, perhaps most of them, suffer in silence for
the sake of their parents' reputation and their own consciences, and keep
"playing the game." The reward for such conformity is that
everyone likes them except themselves.
The torment that comes
with the curse is beyond description. First, many tell me they cannot
sleep, eat, or function because the conflict is that consuming. Second, if
they concede control to the Standard
Bearers, they sin against the Holy Spirit to whom they owe undivided
allegiance and submission. Third, when discerning friends note the
problem and inquire, their silence or avoidance of an answer appears to be
a sign of guilt. Fourth, I've not met or talked with anyone of these
tormented souls who have not lovingly and reasonably tried to reconcile
with the Standard Bearers. But
the only grounds for reconciliation these encounter is unquestioning,
silent submission to the expectations and control. Fifth, the effects of the curse is worsened by all the people the Standard
Bearers have defiled either by slander and gossip regarding them
(usually the details are left to the imagination of the one defiled) or
the obvious absence of any mention of their names and relationship. The next Chariot of Fire
What should you do if you
realize you have advanced the curse of the Standard
Bearers on others? How should someone who has been rejected by Standard Bearers respond? I'll answer both of these questions in
detail in the next Chariot of Fire. For
now, a simple answer will give you something to consider and about which
to pray. The answer is the same for both: Repent of seeking to find any
comfort or significance in outward appearance and acceptance by others.
This is to worship them and to place their approval above God's approval,
and that is sin in His eyes. Jesus died on the cross because of that sin.
Therefore, there is hope as one repents and seeks to find his or her
fullness, acceptance, and joy in a relationship with Jesus Christ on
"the other side of the veil" where Jesus Christ is seated at the
right hand of the Father (Col. 3:1-4). May you find your life hidden in
Christ with God! Would
you like to be on the Elijah Ministries Prayer Team? The backbone of Elijah Ministries
is the prayer team who pray diligently for God to turn the hearts of men
to Himself, their wives, and their children. Before I leave to speak, I
send out a prayer team invitation to those who will intercede for God to
work for His glory in us as a team for the Kingdom. Not only is it a
blessing to those whom I speak and myself; but it is also a reminder to
the team about the direction of their own hearts. If you would like to
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Norm
Wakefield 12.07 To unsubscribe, click here. Do not change the subject of the email that launches when you click above. Just press send. Or send an email with the subject Unsubscribe Chariot to chariot@spiritofelijah.com.
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