Chariot of Fire 2004.02 - Rising to the Call to Pray - Part 2

Recently, while meditating on the apostle Peter's admonishment to men on how they are to live with their wives, I was struck with something which has impacted my relationship with my wife, Alma. It's found in I Peter 3:7. Peter wrote:

"You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered."

I'm not going to give a full exegesis of this verse, but want to emphasize three insights which impact us men in our prayer lives.

Insight Number One: Be a learner.

The first part of this verse contains an imperative for us husbands: live with our wives in an understanding way. Some men have stated it is impossible to understand their wives, but if God's Word says we are to do it, then with the assistance of the Holy Spirit we can do it. The point isn't that a husband must understand everything about his wife, but he is to purpose to learn about her.

The King James Version translates "understanding way" as "according toknowledge." It should go without saying a husband needs to know his wife well. Specifically, he must learn about her weakness as a woman. Knowing the weaknesses of our wives enables us to know where their struggles are going to be. Learning what pleases them, troubles them, and fulfills them has a very practical value: we are to study our wives with a purpose. What is that purpose?

Insight Number Two: Be a learner for the purpose of intercession.

Usually men exploit weaknesses and use the knowledge to advance themselves. But Peter had something else in mind. How can a man intercede effectively for a woman he doesn't know? Won't his prayers be hindered if he doesn't live with his wife in an understanding way? Surely they will!

Although a man's prayers are hindered by his sinfulness, I don't think that is what Peter had in mind. In my opinion, he was thinking practically. If a husband doesn't live with his wife to learn about her with a view to gaining understanding, his prayers for his wife remain general and his heart unengaged on her behalf. The husband who doesn't understand his role as intercessor and fails to obey this command of God's Word may pray something like, "Father, give my wife a good day and bless her. Thank you for my wife."

However, a husband who is a learner for the purpose of effective intercession prays with understanding and his heart engages God on behalf of his wife. Did you know one of the primary ministries to your wife is intercession? It is implied in this verse. Peter assumed believing husbands are going to pray for their wives. How are they to be effective in this ministry? Understanding them, knowing their weaknesses, and treating them with honor form the basis for their intercession. Such a husband might pray in this way for his wife. "Father, thank you for my wife's need for security. It makes me look to you for strength, consistency, and truthfulness in order to provide spiritual refreshment to her. You knew I needed to grow in these areas and gave me the perfect helpmeet. Today, Father, be her security and stability. Fill her with the Holy Spirit so she finds her life in Your Son, Jesus. While I'm away from her today, remind me to pray for her, to call her, and to encourage her."

Knowing what his wife faces each day may enable a husband to pray, "Father, demonstrate the power of your kingdom's presence in my wife's life as she teaches the children, cleans the house, transports the children, responds to their crises and conflicts, disciplines them, takes care of the baby, and prepares meals--just to mention a few of the things she has to do today. Fill her with love and patience, Father, because you know what she went through yesterday. And, Father, she didn't get much sleep last night..."

Insight Number Three: This is like Jesus.

When Jesus came to earth, He came to live with his bride [church] in an understanding way as with a weaker vessel. We're encouraged by the writer of Hebrews to draw near to Jesus because He is familiar with our weaknesses and temptations. As the bride of Christ our husband, Jesus Christ treats us with honor as fellow-heirs of the grace of life. He knows and understands us in all of our weaknesses.

Although there are many reasons for Jesus' incarnation, surely one of the main purposes of His becoming a man was to enable Him to better intercede for His bride. From the time of His ascension, what ministry has Jesus performed for us? We read in Hebrews 7:25 that Jesus ever lives to intercede for us. His intercession as our husband is now His primary ministry to His bride.

This has really encouraged me in my ministry to my wife through prayer. I hope it will have the same effect on you. Do you realize that as you learn about your wife, you should be learning about her for the purpose of praying for her with understanding? Our husband, Jesus Christ, listens to us for the purpose of prayer. As you listen to her, learn about her struggles, her challenges, her needs, and her desires. When you do this, your prayers will not be hindered and you will be loving your wife as Christ loved the church.

Grow in Christ-likeness.

We learn from Romans 8:28-32 that God's purpose for all He does in our lives is to conform us to the image of His Son, Jesus Christ. For husbands, the weaknesses of our wives serve a powerful service-they provide opportunities for us to be like Christ. If we have the attitude toward our wives described in I Peter 3 we will be growing in Christ-likeness as intercessors. Would you consider purposing to learn about your wife this year for the purpose of praying more effectively for her? May God fill you with His Spirit for this high, holy privilege of serving your wife.