Chariot of Fire 2004.10 - Seven Qualities of a Family Leader - Part 3

Seven Qualities of a Family Leader: Part 3

This is the third article in a series on Seven Qualities of a Family Leader exemplified in the apostle Paul. (Previous articles are posted at www.spiritofelijah.com). Paul viewed himself as a spiritual father to the Corinthians. He had some "children" who responded to his leadership and others who didn't-like many fathers today. Perhaps you can relate!

In the previous articles we observed the first four of seven qualities in the great apostle. I'm encouraged from Paul's responses to those who opposed his leadership as we have studied the last three chapters of 2 Corinthians. We've learned thus far that a godly father/leader has these qualities.

He boasts in the Lord. He maintains simple and pure devotion to Christ. He knows God and His Word. He has intense concern for those under his care. What other qualities of leadership may we learn from Paul's example?

Fifth Quality: Relies on the grace of Jesus Christ while content in weakness.

And because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to buffet me -- to keep me from exalting myself! Concerning this I entreated the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong (2 Corinthians 12:7).

Has God put someone in your life who is an expert at picking out your weaknesses? Maybe it's your wife or children or a parent. The apostle Paul called this kind of person a "thorn." I know there is some debate about what Paul had in mind when he referred to the thorn in the flesh. Some think he was referring to his bad eyesight, and others suggest another type of physical malady from his many beatings. However, I think the context suggests a person who was "in the flesh" and criticized Paul's fleshly weaknesses. Usually insults, distresses, and persecutions don't come from bad eyesight. And to say he bore those kinds of mistreatment for Christ's sake indicates more of a person-to-person conflict based on theology and commitment.

Most of us relate to Paul's prayer to have the "thorn" removed. I have spoken with many pastors who had "thorns" who wished God would remove them from their churches! However, we learn from this mature Christian leader that God has purposes for people who notice our weaknesses and seek to disqualify us as leaders. God is more interested in our learning His sufficiency in the face of our weaknesses. This is an important lesson!

All of us have weaknesses. Each of our children has weaknesses. They must learn from us how to rely on the grace of God in a relationship with Jesus Christ rather than on their own flesh strength. The man who thinks his adequacy is from himself is the man who can bring no glory to God! God is glorified in our weaknesses; for when we are weak, we rely on Him. Our weaknesses become a stage for the Lord Jesus to display His power and grace.

Therefore, we, like the apostle Paul, must learn to be content with the weaknesses we have. Perhaps you're not a great communicator. Not to worry. Rely on the Holy Spirit to use your weakness to teach and prepare your children for life. Maybe you aren't naturally a great organizer or administrator. Your weakness may be the occasion for God to complete you through your wife, thus making you more unified with her.

Let us then be "well content" with our weaknesses. No, let's go further. Let us boast in our weaknesses, giving thanks to God for them since they encourage us to rely heavily on His grace and boast in Jesus Christ.

Sixth Quality: Selflessly expends himself in service.

And I will most gladly spend and be expended for your souls. If I love you the more, am I to be loved the less (2 Corinthians 12:15)?

Wow! What a quality. Surely we need this encouragement. After a long hard day at work, the tendency of the flesh is to resist any further expenditure of energy. How many times have you walked in, flopped down in your easy chair, and expected to relax when you heard your wife yell from the kitchen, "Help! Honey, I need you to open this jar for me?" That's all it takes to tip you over the top, and you find yourself fuming inside at unfulfilled expectations.

Okay, I may have exaggerated a bit in that illustration, but we all know the sin of selfishness hinders us in our leadership. A leader must be willing to selflessly expend himself for the sake of his wife, children, and brothers and sisters in Christ. Paul's opponents used the Corinthians for their own gain (2 Cor. 11:19-20). In contrast, Paul realized he was there to be spent for their blessing.

How does a man expend himself when there's nothing left to spend? We learned that lesson in the previous quality. Rely on the grace of God in Christ when you are weak. When you are driving home, expect to spend more time and energy before your head hits the pillow. Your wife has expended herself all day. She probably has nothing left to give either. That means it's time to worship! Look to the grace of God in Jesus Christ. Ask Him to fill you with His Spirit. You're His child, and He wants to display his strength when you are weak. Request strength, wisdom, and grace to handle whatever comes your way. Pray for your wife and children. You'll be amazed at the energy God gives when you rely on Him rather than yourself. Furthermore, you provide a wonderful example to your family of how to face life when you are tired and weak. Now that's a leader!

Seventh Quality: Does not underestimate the power of the life of Christ within.

For indeed He was crucified because of weakness, yet He lives because of the power of God. For we also are weak in Him, yet we shall live with Him because of the power of God directed toward you (2 Corinthians 13:4).

Notice Paul's confidence. He realized the power of God in him was directed toward those he was serving. A leader who acknowledges his dependency on God is a leader who can be confident of God's giving him what is needed to serve his family, church, or country.

One day I took my family to Mt. Baldy in Southern California. We were enjoying the snow and the beautiful view. Although it was my day off, I found myself contemplating the pastoral ministry and the men God had called me to serve. As I thought about some of those men and the problems they were facing, this admonition bolted into my mind. "Never underestimate the power of the life of Jesus Christ in a man." Filtering this thought through my knowledge of God's Word, I realized the glorious truth that God has placed in each of his sons, His Spirit, for the very purpose of glorifying His name and accomplishing His work. It didn't depend on me to equip them or to carry them. It was His church. They were His people. He would give me what I needed to serve them, and He would give them what they needed to serve their wives, families, and each other.

Do you have this confidence? If you have turned your heart toward God, your wives, and your children, you are an expression of His love, His service, and His glory to them. You may be weak, but you are in Him, and He is in you. God plans to direct His power toward them through you. If Jesus lives because of the power of God, then we live because of the power of God. Do you need His power? Do you need this confidence?

The Test: Is Jesus in you?

Test yourselves to see if you are in the faith; examine yourselves! Or do you not recognize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you -- unless indeed you fail the test (2 Corinthians 13:5)?

Please look again at these seven qualities.

He boasts in the Lord.

He maintains simple and pure devotion to Christ.

He knows God and His Word.

He has intense concern for those under his care.

He relies on the grace of Jesus Christ while content with weaknesses.

He selflessly expends himself in service.

He does not underestimate the power of the life of Jesus Christ within.

These qualities of a leader don't come from fleshly strength or knowledge. They come from the life of Jesus Christ in you. A good father knows the Spirit of Him who is our heavenly Father. We learn how to love our wives and are enabled to do so as we are filled with the Spirit of Jesus Christ, our perfect Husband. Being a regular church attendee, a good provider, or a popular, well-liked individual doesn't make a man a good leader.

Every man who wishes to be a leader, who glorifies God and is a blessing to his family, must have a living, vibrant relationship with Jesus Christ. God has promised in His Word that those who rely on what God has done and is doing through His Son, Jesus Christ, will not be disappointed (Rom. 10:13). As we turn away from relying on our own goodness, our own strength, our own righteousness, and our own abilities and wisdom as our confidence, we practice the first step of repentance. The second step is to place our hope and confidence in Jesus Christ as our righteousness and our wisdom from God. A leader such as the apostle Paul walked daily, moment-by-moment relying on the grace of God in Jesus Christ who dwelled within him.

As you examine yourself do you find the life of Christ in you? If so, I rejoice with you and encourage you to renew your reliance and relationship with Jesus as you lead your family. If not, there's no better time to begin than now. Would you humble yourself and pray? God stands ready to forgive anyone who comes to Him on the basis of Jesus' righteousness and sacrifice on the cross for the sin of self-reliance and living without Him. Why not, this moment, thank God for the gift of forgiveness, and ask Him to give you the Holy Spirit to make Jesus' presence known in your life? You need Him. You are in His presence. He promises to fill those who ask Him. May God fill us all with the life of His Son, Jesus Christ, that we may be the leaders of our families for the glory of God!